Are you looking for information about tongue fetish and how it originated? Then this guide from sex educator Niki Davis-Fainbloom will help!
Tongues can be a pretty essential tool during sexy times. Imagine how weird a tongueless makeout session would feel or how strange oral sex would feel if, beneath the lips, there was just a gaping hole.
Not too pleasant a thought!
Tongues have provided me with more orgasms than penises, so it makes sense that folks would become aroused by tongues, given their vast potential to facilitate pleasure.
What Is A Tongue Fetish?
A tongue fetish is a sexual arousal from tongues. However, there is a difference between folks who enjoy some tongue and those who have a tongue fetish. For folks with a tongue fetish, the tongue is not just a tool for pleasure but is the object of desire.
There is a large grey area between folks that enjoy tongues’ pleasure-giving ability and folks who are uniquely fixated on the tongue.
One way to parse out the difference is, do you think oral sex is cool because it involves a lot of tongue, or are tongues cool cause they help with the sensation of oral sex?
If your response is the former, you specifically have an affinity towards tongues.
How Common Are Tongue Fetishes?
Although most people would concur that tongues can be sexy, there are only a few folks with this fetish. However, because enjoying tongues is common, many folks may be turned on by the tongue but not identify as having a fetish.
For example, imagine someone told you they had a blow job fetish. You would probably think, well, duh, it is more common to enjoy blow jobs than not to enjoy them. So perhaps this is why there is a relatively low prevalence of folks expressing that they have a tongue fetish, despite tongues’ inherent sexuality.
One of the most extensive studies of fetishists (at least 5000 in total) found that about 2% of all folks that had a fetish expressed being aroused by aspects of the mouth – some report being excited by lips, teeth, and the mouth more broadly.
In addition, there is some tongue content out there, but not a ton. There is a site dedicated to long sexy tongues, a site for tongue art, and some pornography focusing on tongue-related content. Much of the content is concentrated on tongue piercings and long tongues.
As with all fetishes, there is a story of someone taking it too far. A person with a tongue kissing fetish pretended to be a police officer and forced women to stick out their tongues so he could touch them, as apparently, he had a fixation on knowing the length of women’s tongues.
Most fetish folks explore it consensually, so it’s a shame that the media focuses on the one person who engaged in it non-consensually.
Why Do People Have A Tongue Fetish?
Tongues are an integral tool for pleasure, so it makes sense that some folks would erotize them.
For example, there may be a learned association between someone sticking their tongue out and proceeding with sexual pleasure. As a result of classical conditioning, eventually, folks would begin to feel arousal just from the tongue because of its association with a positive outcome.
There are also the classic psychological theories of development stemming from Freud, who would assert that a tongue fetish develops through childhood experience of children “getting stuck” at the oral phase of development.
There is some logic to this: the mouth is a pleasure center that many of us develop through sucking on our mother’s breasts. Perhaps, on some level, these sensations we feel as a baby may impact our desires as an adult – but it seems the least strong of the theories.
A tongue sucking fetish can also arise from early sexual experiences involving tongues. For example, say your first crush has a long tongue, enjoyed sticking their tongue out, or seductively licked a popsicle.
If that happened during a significant time in your sexual development, one experience could be enough to imprint the tongue as damn sexy.
Related Fetishes
Several fetishes overlap with a tongue fetish. For example, some are into piercings and therefore enjoy pierced tongues.
Other folks enjoy exploring tongues as part of a BDSM dynamic. For example, a master force a sub to clean their master’s shoe with their tongue. Others are turned on by other parts of the mouth, such as teeth, salvia, or lips.
How Can I Explore My Tongue Fetish?
A long tongue fetish is a particularly fun fetish to explore, mainly because most folks understand how sexy the mouth and tongue can be.
Part one is to figure out what you want to explore with tongues, and part two is expressing that to a partner.
A fellow on Reddit created a list of ways to explore a tongue fetish during sexy time:
“Sucking a tongue during sex momentarily turns me into an insatiable animal. Having my tongue sucked. Having my wife spit and let it roll down my tongue. Spitting and watching it roll down her tongue.:
Another person on Reddit added:
“Tongue-kissing is amazing, especially my boyfriend and I do this awesome thing where we lay our tongues flat on each other, making me shake all over. Also, I’ve found that licking of fingers and particularly in between fingers drives me wild, as does him licking my lips.”
You can also create fun challenges – see if you can lick your partner from head to toe and share which areas feel best. Attempt to make your partner orgasm using just your tongue. Put a blindfold on your partner and lick them all over.
The options are endless.
Tongues are a very easy-to-understand fetish, so it should be fun to incorporate into your sexual activities.
